Hi! I'm Melanie. Nice to meet you!
.jpg/:/cr=t:26.19%25,l:15.55%25,w:76.92%25,h:57.64%25/rs=w:1209,h:605,cg:true,m)
Taking flight.
A few years ago, when we were static, stuck in our own, unique circumstances with the COVID pandemic, things slowed down. And in that life pause, a lot of not-so-great was exposed in my life.
I think I experienced what happens to a lot of “empty nesters” – just a few years early. Without all of the everyday distractions keeping us busy and minds racing, we were forced to see and to face – head on – what wasn’t working. And in my life, there was a lot that was not working.
With therapy, I realized that I had been so focused on everyone else (and their happiness) that I had totally lost myself. The best way I can describe it is this: I felt like I was being buried alive and that if something didn’t change, I (the barely breathing spirit underneath this layer of Earthly skin) would be lost to the elements. The worms and the roaches were circling, waiting to pounce and take ownership.
I knew that something – big – needed to change. So, I did what I promised myself I would never do. A promise I made when I was 13-years-old when my own parents got divorced. I said “goodbye” to my 25-year marriage and began a journey to re-invest in me and to remember who I was, what I loved, what I wanted and what I was no longer willing to give up for others.
It was the most selfish thing I’ve ever done – or will likely ever do. And it was hard. So. Very. Hard.
I lost a partner of 25 years (the father of my children). I lost most of my friends. I lost a lot of the comfort that I had counted on. And I lost my kids half-time – which was, by far, the biggest loss of them all. They were 13 and 16, at the time.
And yet, somewhere, in all of the loss, I found me. I found my smile again. My laugh. I found my joy. And my kids discovered who I was too. They had never seen me be “light” before, no longer carrying the secrets or burdens of others.
And because I was free to unearth me and to be happy, I also found love – a deep, profound and amazing love that I didn’t know existed. For real – I had no clue (bless all those who know what I’m talking about)! And I wouldn’t have found this incredible love if I hadn’t gone through the divorce and the hard that accompanied it. Even better? This love is one my kids are now witnessing and, hopefully, will model when the time comes.
And in that “finding,” I also imagined freebyrding: A community of people who are all going through something similar – ah hem, the thing commonly referred to as “empty nest” – at the same time (although circumstances will differ – greatly!). A group who might be feeling “empty,” lost or both – now that their kids have flown the coop – but people who also have newfound freedom and time to explore a whole new world of awesome.
This is a place to find fellow birds of a feather who are happy – and excited – to flock together and embrace our next chapter.